My cousin Ron was having a bad day. In one afternoon he found out one of his best friends had suddenly passed away, his mother in law was admitted to the hospital due to a severe asthma attack and it was an overall crappy day at work. I am sure my cuz didn’t feel like entertaining, but as we (me, my daughter, and mine and Ron’s grandmother)were in town for only a short while, he felt obligated to have us, along with his parents, Gwen and Ronnie over for dinner. After feasting on delish NY-style takeout pizza, we were all hangin out trying to keep up Ron’s spirits. We discussed his 7 month old son and the cuteness of him. We watched some dude gorge himself with spicy foods on television.
Somehow the convo switched to the not-so-lighthearted subject of people with disabilities. We were trading tragic situations of those we know/have heard of when my 80 year old gramma perked up. “They was a boy in my Sundy School class borned with no eyelids.” Nan Nan began in a tired voice, thick with her Lincoln County, WV accent. We all expressed various degrees of surprise and pity.
“Yeah.” She said. “They fixed ‘eem up tho. After he was circumcised, they made eyelids out of the left over skin.” The room was quiet as everyone imagined the poor baby with no eyelids, how the doctors and surgeons would attach the skin without hurting the baby’s actual eyes. “Wow.” Someone said. “Is he okay now? Like, can you tell?”
Nan Nan shrugged a “Nah. He’s fine. …Just a little cockeyed.”
SILENCE.
Then complete uproar. O. M. G. We all DIED!!! I wasn’t the only one Ugly Laughing this time. Not only is my gramma an 80 year old life-long Sunday School teacher, the woman can’t even tell a KNOCK- KNOCK joke without crackin herself up so badly she can’t finish. And then she comes up with “COCK-EYED????!!!”
Of course she begged us not to tell a soul that SHE was the source of that joke. Well, in her defense one of her now-grown-up Sunday School boys told HER the joke. Sorry, Nans. Can’t keep that promise. I’m feelin a bit ‘cock-eyed’ myself today.
