Mrs. WV America was crowned this past weekend at Huntington's very own Pullman Plaza hotel. It was a small-ish affair with only 5 candidates but, man, they were five amazing women. The youngest was 24. The oldest was 47!
As one of three judges I was really torn. One of the ladies was a childbirth educator, a post-natal doula and a 'regisitered' feminist (in a beauty pageant?!) who breastfed her twin babies. One of her pix for the program even shows one of her babies nursin gin a family portrait! Another amazing woman had a 7 month old daughter AND a 17 month old! She had gained so much weight from back to back pregnancies and having been on bedrest very early on in both. And here she was in a SWIMSUIT on a STAGE!!! There were three other women, all of them spectacular representatives of the upstanding and devoted women of WV.
The task was not easy, but we made our decision. The momma of the two baby girls won. She was so proud of herself, and she should be! She has done so much to get back in shape and to raise her two girls, with the help of family and friends, of course!
Congratulations and Good Luck at Mrs. America, Andrea!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Matthew McBeefcake
I have the radio on in my office in between clients. Just to drown out the devil's symphony of the ancient dot-matrix printer mixing with the terrified wails of the kids who don't wanna get naked OR get a finger-stick. And who can blame them? I have the radio tuned in to the one station that gets a clear signal in my office. I don't really listen to the music as I can only take so much Brittney Spears, Beyonce ( I EFFING HATE THAT HALO P.O.S. sooonnng!)and that God-awful "boom boom now" crap. I perk up for the deejays chatting and the news blips. At one point, my ears picked up the unmistakable, melodic speaking voice of Matthew McConaughey. I increased the volume and sure enough, Mr McConaughey was doing some sorta voice over. I listened in merry disbelief as I realized the sexy beefcake was hawking...beef. Matthew was talking about beef in his bedroom voice. He was talking up beef as if it were a new sex toy or something. To be sure it was indeed the sexy Texan actor, I did a quick Google search. This was my fave result from that search:
*Why does it fascinate so? Maybe it's because McConaughey plays up his every vocal tic for maximum effect, like he's trying to lure a small child into a windowless van with some candy. Or maybe it's because their new tagline, "Discover the power of protein in the land of lean beef," is so impossibly vomit inducing (and also a little homoerotic). Or perhaps it's because at the end of the day, Matthew delivers his most convincing performance since A Time To Kill. Whatever the reason, it totally works. I ate like 15 burgers this weekend and couldn't be happier.
*I pulled that from gawker.com. That blog was titled Matthew Mc..Creepiest Beef Spokesperson Ever.
Yep, I think that sums it up.
I have the radio on in my office in between clients. Just to drown out the devil's symphony of the ancient dot-matrix printer mixing with the terrified wails of the kids who don't wanna get naked OR get a finger-stick. And who can blame them? I have the radio tuned in to the one station that gets a clear signal in my office. I don't really listen to the music as I can only take so much Brittney Spears, Beyonce ( I EFFING HATE THAT HALO P.O.S. sooonnng!)and that God-awful "boom boom now" crap. I perk up for the deejays chatting and the news blips. At one point, my ears picked up the unmistakable, melodic speaking voice of Matthew McConaughey. I increased the volume and sure enough, Mr McConaughey was doing some sorta voice over. I listened in merry disbelief as I realized the sexy beefcake was hawking...beef. Matthew was talking about beef in his bedroom voice. He was talking up beef as if it were a new sex toy or something. To be sure it was indeed the sexy Texan actor, I did a quick Google search. This was my fave result from that search:
*Why does it fascinate so? Maybe it's because McConaughey plays up his every vocal tic for maximum effect, like he's trying to lure a small child into a windowless van with some candy. Or maybe it's because their new tagline, "Discover the power of protein in the land of lean beef," is so impossibly vomit inducing (and also a little homoerotic). Or perhaps it's because at the end of the day, Matthew delivers his most convincing performance since A Time To Kill. Whatever the reason, it totally works. I ate like 15 burgers this weekend and couldn't be happier.
*I pulled that from gawker.com. That blog was titled Matthew Mc..Creepiest Beef Spokesperson Ever.
Yep, I think that sums it up.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
My little girl is so grown up. I just can't believe it sometimes. Gillian still loves little girl things like dolls, toys, and video games, of course. But she also loves going shopping and getting her nails done (by me- we haven't done the mother daughter mani/pedi--yet!). And oh my, the child is vain. Who can blame her? The child is unearthly GORGEOUS! Those HUGE soulful brown eyes. Her big, infectious laugh. The smile that never ends.
Just a few days ago she got a new haircut and style. Her sleek chestnut tresses were cut into a smart bangless bob (we'll cut those in the fall). She has asked everyone we see if they like her 'new hair.' Then she swishes the 'new hair' from side to side in order to better show it off. She even interrupted the entire dentist's office to fish for a compliment.
And speaking of the dentist AND Gilly being such a big girl, she was absolutely extraordinary that day. Unlike her Momma, who has an unholy fear of all things dental, Gillian looks forward to her denist appoinments. Since the office does not see all that many children (they are not a pediatric site) Gilly is treated like a ROCK STAR when she is there. So of course, she loves all of the attention. She thinks the automatic chair (or the electric chair as I refer to it-not to Gilly, tho!!) is a fun ride and the sunglasses she wears while being examined are a hoot. I will confess to being quite near tears when Gilly said, "THIS is gonna be GREAT!" as she clamoured into The Chair. The dental assistant had just readied all of the implements of torture. I stuffed a throat-aching sob into a cough and blinked back tears as I spied THE NEEEEDLE!
When Dr. Woodriff breezed in, I about leapt out of my seat and bolted for the door. Baby teefs fall out anyway, right? What's the point of filling them? I was ready to adopt the unhealthy attitude of more than a few of our WIC clients. The dentist calmly explained to Gilly what was gonna happen and she let her touch and explore all of the instruments for as long as she wanted. The doc then asked me if I wanted to "N-U-M-B it?"
I blinked and couldn't answer. Dr. Woodriff looked at me patiently. "Uhhhh...mmmm. Well, what do..er..I mean, well, what doYOU think?" I never knew it was an option NOT to "N-U-M-B it." Dr W. explained that the cavities were just on the surface, it was up to me, with or without. "Wifout!" Gilly piped up. Dr W. agreed heartily. The the doc looked at me and said, "We'll go without and see how it goes."
How it went was AWESOME!!! No needles, very little drilling. Gilly picked her prize and we were in and out of there in less than 20.
While running errands later that day, my good little girl made this statement: "I listen to you now."
"You do?"
Gillian nodded and her "new hair" bounced. "See? I'm holdong your hand in the store and I'm not running around and asking for stuff. So see? I'm a big girl and I listen to you."
I dropped to my knees in the middle of the store and snatched Gillian up in a big hug. "Come on, my big girl. Let's get out of here and go to McDonald's Playplace!"
"YAYYY!" She said. And then, "But even though I'm a big girl, I still want a HAppy Meal and a toy. I still don't like Crabby PAtties."
I smiled and we held hands out of the store. I WOULD say, "They grow up so fast." But it has been a long, hard journey to get here. It wasn't fast at all. It was quite slow and painful at times. Not unlike a long drawn-out dental exam for me. I am just so proud of Gillian and all that she as overcome. She IS my growed-up, amazing big girl.
Just a few days ago she got a new haircut and style. Her sleek chestnut tresses were cut into a smart bangless bob (we'll cut those in the fall). She has asked everyone we see if they like her 'new hair.' Then she swishes the 'new hair' from side to side in order to better show it off. She even interrupted the entire dentist's office to fish for a compliment.
And speaking of the dentist AND Gilly being such a big girl, she was absolutely extraordinary that day. Unlike her Momma, who has an unholy fear of all things dental, Gillian looks forward to her denist appoinments. Since the office does not see all that many children (they are not a pediatric site) Gilly is treated like a ROCK STAR when she is there. So of course, she loves all of the attention. She thinks the automatic chair (or the electric chair as I refer to it-not to Gilly, tho!!) is a fun ride and the sunglasses she wears while being examined are a hoot. I will confess to being quite near tears when Gilly said, "THIS is gonna be GREAT!" as she clamoured into The Chair. The dental assistant had just readied all of the implements of torture. I stuffed a throat-aching sob into a cough and blinked back tears as I spied THE NEEEEDLE!
When Dr. Woodriff breezed in, I about leapt out of my seat and bolted for the door. Baby teefs fall out anyway, right? What's the point of filling them? I was ready to adopt the unhealthy attitude of more than a few of our WIC clients. The dentist calmly explained to Gilly what was gonna happen and she let her touch and explore all of the instruments for as long as she wanted. The doc then asked me if I wanted to "N-U-M-B it?"
I blinked and couldn't answer. Dr. Woodriff looked at me patiently. "Uhhhh...mmmm. Well, what do..er..I mean, well, what doYOU think?" I never knew it was an option NOT to "N-U-M-B it." Dr W. explained that the cavities were just on the surface, it was up to me, with or without. "Wifout!" Gilly piped up. Dr W. agreed heartily. The the doc looked at me and said, "We'll go without and see how it goes."
How it went was AWESOME!!! No needles, very little drilling. Gilly picked her prize and we were in and out of there in less than 20.
While running errands later that day, my good little girl made this statement: "I listen to you now."
"You do?"
Gillian nodded and her "new hair" bounced. "See? I'm holdong your hand in the store and I'm not running around and asking for stuff. So see? I'm a big girl and I listen to you."
I dropped to my knees in the middle of the store and snatched Gillian up in a big hug. "Come on, my big girl. Let's get out of here and go to McDonald's Playplace!"
"YAYYY!" She said. And then, "But even though I'm a big girl, I still want a HAppy Meal and a toy. I still don't like Crabby PAtties."
I smiled and we held hands out of the store. I WOULD say, "They grow up so fast." But it has been a long, hard journey to get here. It wasn't fast at all. It was quite slow and painful at times. Not unlike a long drawn-out dental exam for me. I am just so proud of Gillian and all that she as overcome. She IS my growed-up, amazing big girl.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
ME! ME! ME!
My purse is always too overloaded to close properly.
I was a grate spelr b4 colige.
I will create as many short cuts as possible to get through a task more
quickly. Even if it means I am bored and have nothing to do for the rest of the day
I wear way, way too much mascara. I have to buy a new tube almost every month if not more often.
I am a terrible driver, yet remarkably, my record is accident free.
I only wash my hair every 3-4 days or so. Unless otherwise necessary.
I use my child as a deflector shield.
I think people in the gym look alarmingly stupid while they are working out. Of course, outside of the gym those people look waaayyy better than I do, so...
I have a long list of male and female celebrity crushes .
I am a voracious reader.
I crave thunderstorms.
I think the characters on my 'stories' really are my BFFs.
I have severely debilitating ADHD but all of the meds make me sick and cranky. As a result, I live in a constant state of confusion and occasional self-loathing.
I love my sister more that it should be possible to love a sibling.
I miss my friends very very much.*hugs*
I HATE being outside. I HATE it!!!! The great INdoors is more like it.
I quite like meeting people and making a good first impression. Must be a combination of Pageant Girl and just being a Sagittarius. After we meet, it's up to you to keep the friendship going. But when we do meet again, I will love you like we never parted!
I am wiley.
I long to be a neat freak. But I am waaayyy too scatterbrained for all of the responsiblity that kind of personality holds.
I am a delightfully awful dancer. Even when it's just me and Gillian, she'll put a hand up and say, "Please, Momma. Don't do that." *sigh*
I believe in love AND good old-fashioned LUST.
I want to own my own childbirth and lactation center. But...(there's always a 'but' associated with my goals!).
I am a 32 year old divorcee with a child of my own and a fiance yet I am still afraid of my Mommy.
I love the smell of car air-conditioning.
I live my life like it is a broadway musical. Even with the bad dancing!!
I was a grate spelr b4 colige.
I will create as many short cuts as possible to get through a task more
quickly. Even if it means I am bored and have nothing to do for the rest of the day
I wear way, way too much mascara. I have to buy a new tube almost every month if not more often.
I am a terrible driver, yet remarkably, my record is accident free.
I only wash my hair every 3-4 days or so. Unless otherwise necessary.
I use my child as a deflector shield.
I think people in the gym look alarmingly stupid while they are working out. Of course, outside of the gym those people look waaayyy better than I do, so...
I have a long list of male and female celebrity crushes .
I am a voracious reader.
I crave thunderstorms.
I think the characters on my 'stories' really are my BFFs.
I have severely debilitating ADHD but all of the meds make me sick and cranky. As a result, I live in a constant state of confusion and occasional self-loathing.
I love my sister more that it should be possible to love a sibling.
I miss my friends very very much.*hugs*
I HATE being outside. I HATE it!!!! The great INdoors is more like it.
I quite like meeting people and making a good first impression. Must be a combination of Pageant Girl and just being a Sagittarius. After we meet, it's up to you to keep the friendship going. But when we do meet again, I will love you like we never parted!
I am wiley.
I long to be a neat freak. But I am waaayyy too scatterbrained for all of the responsiblity that kind of personality holds.
I am a delightfully awful dancer. Even when it's just me and Gillian, she'll put a hand up and say, "Please, Momma. Don't do that." *sigh*
I believe in love AND good old-fashioned LUST.
I want to own my own childbirth and lactation center. But...(there's always a 'but' associated with my goals!).
I am a 32 year old divorcee with a child of my own and a fiance yet I am still afraid of my Mommy.
I love the smell of car air-conditioning.
I live my life like it is a broadway musical. Even with the bad dancing!!
Introducing Esmerelda
I am an actress. Well, I used to be. Back in 'the day' I was involved in many local theatre productions. And even though I dreamed big, my plans for stardom never really took off. However, my theatre training comes in handy as the mom of a busy and imaginative five year old. Gilly can see one episode of a cartoon or she may watch a movie once and she has it memorized. She also has an uncanny knack for accents. So much so that during her first meeting with Miss Leslie the Speech Therapist, Leslie noted that one of Gillian's parents must be British because Gillian occasionally spoke in an English accent. Nope, she was just being Kipper the Dog from PBS kids(borrowed from BBC). Miss Leslie just didn't catch the switch because Gilly usually goes from being right here in the moment to suddenly submerging herself in the memory of one of her shows. And then she starts acting it out with or without you.
Gillian and I play SpongeBob and Patrick about 30 times a day. We also play Angelina and Alice. We play Sid the Science Kid. Sometimes we improvise, but our 'shows' are always about characters she knows, not ones that are made up.
Try to talk to Gillian. I dare you. You may get a conversation of three sentences that make sense and are on topic. After that, she moves on to Spongebob dialogue or whichever character is in her head at that moment. Brian and I try to ask her about her day at school and we usually get very little reponse. But Gilly will approach complete strangers and without even saying hello she will begin telling that person in detail about her day.
So I decided to 'interview' Gillian as someone else. Someone like the guy from 'Inside the Actors Studio.' "Gillian?" I asked her in a calm, sweet voice. "What did you ..." I cocked my head sharply to the side "DO....at...school...today?" Sensing a game, my daughter hopped up on the couch to face me.
"What's yer name?" She asked with a smile. In the same ethereal voice as before, I responded. "My name is Esmerelda. " I cocked my head sharply to the side again. "Now...Gillian...what did you...DO... at SCHOOL...today?" Esmerelda uses a lot of hand gestures and her facial expressions are what I perceive to be serene. Gillian about DIED laughing. She proceeded to tell me everything she did that day. WITHOUT mentioning SBSP or any other animated persona. Esmerelda was around for a week or so then forgotten about.
Last night while we were out for dinner, Gillian mentioned her again. She wanted me to wear Chili's table menu of cocktails as a hat for Esmerelda. I immediately channeled Esmerelda's calm demeanor and asked Gillian about her day, cocking my head and using way too many fluid hand gestures. Gillian LOST IT! She laughed harder than I had seen her laugh in a long time. I broke character and laughed with her. But I did find out every last detail of her day at school and her afternoon at her Mammy's (grandma) house. I decided then and there that Esmerelda was here to stay. Brian just chuckled and shook his head. I am sure it is a daily occurence for him to question his own decision to spend his life with two of the craziest girls on the planet.
Well, the two craziest girls PLUS all of our 'alternate personalities'!!
Gillian and I play SpongeBob and Patrick about 30 times a day. We also play Angelina and Alice. We play Sid the Science Kid. Sometimes we improvise, but our 'shows' are always about characters she knows, not ones that are made up.
Try to talk to Gillian. I dare you. You may get a conversation of three sentences that make sense and are on topic. After that, she moves on to Spongebob dialogue or whichever character is in her head at that moment. Brian and I try to ask her about her day at school and we usually get very little reponse. But Gilly will approach complete strangers and without even saying hello she will begin telling that person in detail about her day.
So I decided to 'interview' Gillian as someone else. Someone like the guy from 'Inside the Actors Studio.' "Gillian?" I asked her in a calm, sweet voice. "What did you ..." I cocked my head sharply to the side "DO....at...school...today?" Sensing a game, my daughter hopped up on the couch to face me.
"What's yer name?" She asked with a smile. In the same ethereal voice as before, I responded. "My name is Esmerelda. " I cocked my head sharply to the side again. "Now...Gillian...what did you...DO... at SCHOOL...today?" Esmerelda uses a lot of hand gestures and her facial expressions are what I perceive to be serene. Gillian about DIED laughing. She proceeded to tell me everything she did that day. WITHOUT mentioning SBSP or any other animated persona. Esmerelda was around for a week or so then forgotten about.
Last night while we were out for dinner, Gillian mentioned her again. She wanted me to wear Chili's table menu of cocktails as a hat for Esmerelda. I immediately channeled Esmerelda's calm demeanor and asked Gillian about her day, cocking my head and using way too many fluid hand gestures. Gillian LOST IT! She laughed harder than I had seen her laugh in a long time. I broke character and laughed with her. But I did find out every last detail of her day at school and her afternoon at her Mammy's (grandma) house. I decided then and there that Esmerelda was here to stay. Brian just chuckled and shook his head. I am sure it is a daily occurence for him to question his own decision to spend his life with two of the craziest girls on the planet.
Well, the two craziest girls PLUS all of our 'alternate personalities'!!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Things I Did on Mother's DayLaundry
Cleaned Gillian's room
Threw a temper tantrum
NOT receive a gift or card
Had a great lunch sponsored by the generous Mr and Mrs H.S.Shivel III
Went Kmarting
Took Gilly to the $ Tree
Took Gilly to the park
Shopped at the Dollar General Store
Chipped a tooth on some Nerds Candy
Won some stuff on Ebay (yay!!!)
Read bedtime stories and snuggled with my baby girl!!
Monday, May 11, 2009
One of the guys?
This weekend was the Mommy and Me Fashion Show at the Huntington Mall. Now, for those of you who have read my previous posts (on Myspace and Facebook), you know that Gillian tends to follow in her mother's footsteps by milking her time on stage for all it's worth. But this year, probably because I hit the runway with her, Gillian was quite subdued and the only silly thing she did was a little penguin walking. No butt or bagina pickin' THIS TIME!! She is much better as a solo act, for sure! After the show, I rushed home to make potato salad for dinner and then we were off to Sherii's Park Lane jewelry party. And that is where the real fun began.
My dear friend Sherii is a beautiful, remarkably centered and organized mom of NINE KIDS (all of whom she breastfed, I would like to note). Thier modest one story brick home has a surprisingly large, open floor plan. And lemme tell ya, that place is fully stocked with everything a kid of ANY age could long for. Sherii and her husband Criag had five girls first then finished up with four boys. Kaybreh ("Kay-bree"), the oldest sibling, just finished her freshman year away at college.The identical twin boys, Trent-n-Travis are the youngest of the brood at three years old. Gillian was the only girl at Sherii's that afternoon under the age of 11. And I am proud to say that even in her braided pig tails and floral dress, my Gilly Beans got in the floor and played video games and Thomas Trains with the boys.
When it was time to leave she ran over to the mass of little boys, who were playing and/or watching a video game. Gillian took a deep, brave breath and announced to the backs of about ten heads, "Guys. Hey guys? I'm really sorry about this...but *sigh* my Mommy says I have to go now. I'd really like to stay and play with you but *another dramatic sigh* I really have to go." She hung her head and added in a small, sad voice, "I'm just...so..*sigh* sorry."
Micah, who is six years old (and the 7th of the 9 kids) was the only one to turn around. He was slack-mouthed and his eyes were blank as he took in the sight of my sad little girl. "Ok Gillian. See ya later." With that, he resumed the game.
Gotta love the girl-guy dynamic. It starts from birth, I swear.
Micah and the twins ended up following us outside. Micah wanted to play basketball. The twins apparently wanted to pee on stuff. Their matching pants were down around their ankles and they were full-frontally exposed. Gillian was safe and sound inside the car and instead of saying bye to them, I blurted, "Are you guys peein'?!" Two identical little smiley faces nodded a happy yes.
Micah said, "I'm not!" Travis (altho they are always dressed alike, the boys have distinct personalities and it helps that Travis sucks on two fingers and Trent sucks on his thumb) said, "I'm peein on a caddypillar!" Trent shrugged and said with a grin, "I'm just peein." Just then, I heard an uproar from inside Sherii's house. The good-humored mom burst through the front door laughing and yelling.
"Summer! I'm so sorry! BOYS! Stop that! Get in here!" And after the caterpillar was sufficiently soaked, Trent-n-Travis pulled themselves back together and went inside. Only to rush back out and talk to me the whole time I was pullin out of their driveway!
As we drove away, relishing the silence, Gillian said she wanted to have a sleep over at Sherii's. I texted Sherii and didn't get a response. Perhaps nine kids is enough to deal with. Although, I might just drop Gilly off unannounced one day and run some errands. In the Caribbean. Sherii would never know, Gillian blends in so well with the youngest boys of her clan.
That is, unless someone challenges her to a peein' contest!! Then she might be...exposed!
My dear friend Sherii is a beautiful, remarkably centered and organized mom of NINE KIDS (all of whom she breastfed, I would like to note). Thier modest one story brick home has a surprisingly large, open floor plan. And lemme tell ya, that place is fully stocked with everything a kid of ANY age could long for. Sherii and her husband Criag had five girls first then finished up with four boys. Kaybreh ("Kay-bree"), the oldest sibling, just finished her freshman year away at college.The identical twin boys, Trent-n-Travis are the youngest of the brood at three years old. Gillian was the only girl at Sherii's that afternoon under the age of 11. And I am proud to say that even in her braided pig tails and floral dress, my Gilly Beans got in the floor and played video games and Thomas Trains with the boys.
When it was time to leave she ran over to the mass of little boys, who were playing and/or watching a video game. Gillian took a deep, brave breath and announced to the backs of about ten heads, "Guys. Hey guys? I'm really sorry about this...but *sigh* my Mommy says I have to go now. I'd really like to stay and play with you but *another dramatic sigh* I really have to go." She hung her head and added in a small, sad voice, "I'm just...so..*sigh* sorry."
Micah, who is six years old (and the 7th of the 9 kids) was the only one to turn around. He was slack-mouthed and his eyes were blank as he took in the sight of my sad little girl. "Ok Gillian. See ya later." With that, he resumed the game.
Gotta love the girl-guy dynamic. It starts from birth, I swear.
Micah and the twins ended up following us outside. Micah wanted to play basketball. The twins apparently wanted to pee on stuff. Their matching pants were down around their ankles and they were full-frontally exposed. Gillian was safe and sound inside the car and instead of saying bye to them, I blurted, "Are you guys peein'?!" Two identical little smiley faces nodded a happy yes.
Micah said, "I'm not!" Travis (altho they are always dressed alike, the boys have distinct personalities and it helps that Travis sucks on two fingers and Trent sucks on his thumb) said, "I'm peein on a caddypillar!" Trent shrugged and said with a grin, "I'm just peein." Just then, I heard an uproar from inside Sherii's house. The good-humored mom burst through the front door laughing and yelling.
"Summer! I'm so sorry! BOYS! Stop that! Get in here!" And after the caterpillar was sufficiently soaked, Trent-n-Travis pulled themselves back together and went inside. Only to rush back out and talk to me the whole time I was pullin out of their driveway!
As we drove away, relishing the silence, Gillian said she wanted to have a sleep over at Sherii's. I texted Sherii and didn't get a response. Perhaps nine kids is enough to deal with. Although, I might just drop Gilly off unannounced one day and run some errands. In the Caribbean. Sherii would never know, Gillian blends in so well with the youngest boys of her clan.
That is, unless someone challenges her to a peein' contest!! Then she might be...exposed!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Alternate Universe
Hillbillies, Hilljacks, 'Hill people' in general. Beat up trailers, stained denim overalls. Death defying curvy roads and steep, remote mountains. When outsiders (such as 'city folk' from other states) think of Appalaicha those are undoubtedly the images that come to mind. And while that stereotype is unfortunate and not 100% accurate about Wild and Wonderful state of West Virginia as a whole, it is pretty much spot-on with much of Lincoln, Co, WV.
Please take no offense to my statements. I mean no disrepect to anyone. I myself "summered in Lincoln Co, WV" as my wordsmith lil sis often states. I happen have a different point of view about the rural county. It is my whole-hearted belief that Lincoln is an alternate demension altogether. A parallel universe at the very least. There is just NO WAY that the occurences that I have been witness to over the years can possibly happen on this plane of existenece. Case in point: Gillian and I were cruisin' out to Nan Nan's Branchland abode to deliver some groceries and spend some quality time with the matriarch of our family. We went the route of The Dairy Road, a long and twisty stretch that is one of many suspected portals into the next demension. We were hurling along, playing roller coaster when suddenly I was forced to slam on the brakes. A farm tractor had materialized out of nowhere (very Twilight Zone for sure). So our zippy fun had turned into a slow Sunday drive along the country side. In the near distance, I noticed a strange looking dog running thru the yard of a farmhouse. This medium sized, rather thin-yet-bulky dog was running awkwardly, but kickin it into high gear for sure. A gawkey teenager was chasin' the dog. The kid was slipping and falling on the rain-slick grass. A little further down the way, I could see Mrs. Farmer standing beside a chain-link animal pen with a fuzzy lamb nuzzling her shins. The lady was hollerin' at her son and the boy was laughing as he tripped and just could NOT get footing on the wet ground. As they came closer, I realized that the kid was not chasing a dog after all. He was after the MOMMA SHEEP! I have NEVER seen a sheep run! In fact, I have never seen a single sheep at all, usually they stick to pack formation as far as I knew. But this wooly gal was SPRINTING! And I swear she was smiling as she looked back and saw that her captor was NOT keeping up! No wonder that dog looked odd, she wasn't canine at all! She was livestock! Gillian and I were laughin our heads off at the sight. We were rooting for Momma Sheep to win the race.
Then when we finally got to Nan Nan's my dear gramma offered me a fave treat. She has these wonderful, cheap yet delish suckers that she keeps for her Sunday School class. After just a few licks, half of the candy fell off its plastic stick base. I peered at Gilly Beans thru the hollow stick like a telescope. I went to put the candy back in my mouth but something made me look at the sucker before I did. I dropped the thing and screamed as my eyes beheld a terrfying sight. There were hundereds of little black ants pouring out of the sucker stick. The very one that I just had up to my eye, the SAME one that I was about to put in my mouth. The creepy critters had NOT been there seconds ago. How did so many get in there so fast?
The only reasonable explanation? ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!!
Please take no offense to my statements. I mean no disrepect to anyone. I myself "summered in Lincoln Co, WV" as my wordsmith lil sis often states. I happen have a different point of view about the rural county. It is my whole-hearted belief that Lincoln is an alternate demension altogether. A parallel universe at the very least. There is just NO WAY that the occurences that I have been witness to over the years can possibly happen on this plane of existenece. Case in point: Gillian and I were cruisin' out to Nan Nan's Branchland abode to deliver some groceries and spend some quality time with the matriarch of our family. We went the route of The Dairy Road, a long and twisty stretch that is one of many suspected portals into the next demension. We were hurling along, playing roller coaster when suddenly I was forced to slam on the brakes. A farm tractor had materialized out of nowhere (very Twilight Zone for sure). So our zippy fun had turned into a slow Sunday drive along the country side. In the near distance, I noticed a strange looking dog running thru the yard of a farmhouse. This medium sized, rather thin-yet-bulky dog was running awkwardly, but kickin it into high gear for sure. A gawkey teenager was chasin' the dog. The kid was slipping and falling on the rain-slick grass. A little further down the way, I could see Mrs. Farmer standing beside a chain-link animal pen with a fuzzy lamb nuzzling her shins. The lady was hollerin' at her son and the boy was laughing as he tripped and just could NOT get footing on the wet ground. As they came closer, I realized that the kid was not chasing a dog after all. He was after the MOMMA SHEEP! I have NEVER seen a sheep run! In fact, I have never seen a single sheep at all, usually they stick to pack formation as far as I knew. But this wooly gal was SPRINTING! And I swear she was smiling as she looked back and saw that her captor was NOT keeping up! No wonder that dog looked odd, she wasn't canine at all! She was livestock! Gillian and I were laughin our heads off at the sight. We were rooting for Momma Sheep to win the race.
Then when we finally got to Nan Nan's my dear gramma offered me a fave treat. She has these wonderful, cheap yet delish suckers that she keeps for her Sunday School class. After just a few licks, half of the candy fell off its plastic stick base. I peered at Gilly Beans thru the hollow stick like a telescope. I went to put the candy back in my mouth but something made me look at the sucker before I did. I dropped the thing and screamed as my eyes beheld a terrfying sight. There were hundereds of little black ants pouring out of the sucker stick. The very one that I just had up to my eye, the SAME one that I was about to put in my mouth. The creepy critters had NOT been there seconds ago. How did so many get in there so fast?
The only reasonable explanation? ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!!
Monday, May 4, 2009
GF Update
I have had a headache for three days now. This morning it was migraine-ish. I know have not ingested any gluten because I have been eating at home almost exclusively. But, we have had quite a few days of yucky, heavy rain and that usually wreaks havoc on my sinuses, often leading to migraines as well. I popped an Imitrex (the first one in I don't know HOW long) and a 600mg Ibuprofin before bed last night. I STILL woke up naseous with a throbbing head. I have very little sick time at work plus we have a staff meeting at lunch, so calling out was not an option.
Did I mention that we are having pizza at this meeting? Well, THEY are. I'll be having salad w/ GF dressing. I have one more week before the gluten is all out of my system. I am giving myself 2 weeks after that as a test to see how much better I feel and to track any headaches I get. I suppose I should nosh on some gluten AFTER those last two weeks and wait to see what happens.
But, like my sister said, "You could carry a rubber chicken everywhere you go and if you feel better having that chicken with you, then by all means!"
And I know she is right. It is an educated decision on my part to go GF. But having ONE bad headache in three weeks is better than fighting a headache every day, potentially leading to a migraine. So if the GF thing works, it works. If it doesn't, well, I am open to suggestions. I just know I can't take these headaches anymore and after being almost headache-free for two weeks straight, I don't know HOW I ever lived with them for so long.
I popped another Imitrex this a.m. It helps the headache, of course, but also fights the nausea. As a side effect, I am fighting sleep like it's a prize-winning boxing match. I just had my first cup of coffee at 10:00am and it is helping. I may have to blog a few times today just to keep me in the here and now!
Wish me luck @ lunch!
Did I mention that we are having pizza at this meeting? Well, THEY are. I'll be having salad w/ GF dressing. I have one more week before the gluten is all out of my system. I am giving myself 2 weeks after that as a test to see how much better I feel and to track any headaches I get. I suppose I should nosh on some gluten AFTER those last two weeks and wait to see what happens.
But, like my sister said, "You could carry a rubber chicken everywhere you go and if you feel better having that chicken with you, then by all means!"
And I know she is right. It is an educated decision on my part to go GF. But having ONE bad headache in three weeks is better than fighting a headache every day, potentially leading to a migraine. So if the GF thing works, it works. If it doesn't, well, I am open to suggestions. I just know I can't take these headaches anymore and after being almost headache-free for two weeks straight, I don't know HOW I ever lived with them for so long.
I popped another Imitrex this a.m. It helps the headache, of course, but also fights the nausea. As a side effect, I am fighting sleep like it's a prize-winning boxing match. I just had my first cup of coffee at 10:00am and it is helping. I may have to blog a few times today just to keep me in the here and now!
Wish me luck @ lunch!
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