Matthew McBeefcake
I have the radio on in my office in between clients. Just to drown out the devil's symphony of the ancient dot-matrix printer mixing with the terrified wails of the kids who don't wanna get naked OR get a finger-stick. And who can blame them? I have the radio tuned in to the one station that gets a clear signal in my office. I don't really listen to the music as I can only take so much Brittney Spears, Beyonce ( I EFFING HATE THAT HALO P.O.S. sooonnng!)and that God-awful "boom boom now" crap. I perk up for the deejays chatting and the news blips. At one point, my ears picked up the unmistakable, melodic speaking voice of Matthew McConaughey. I increased the volume and sure enough, Mr McConaughey was doing some sorta voice over. I listened in merry disbelief as I realized the sexy beefcake was hawking...beef. Matthew was talking about beef in his bedroom voice. He was talking up beef as if it were a new sex toy or something. To be sure it was indeed the sexy Texan actor, I did a quick Google search. This was my fave result from that search:
*Why does it fascinate so? Maybe it's because McConaughey plays up his every vocal tic for maximum effect, like he's trying to lure a small child into a windowless van with some candy. Or maybe it's because their new tagline, "Discover the power of protein in the land of lean beef," is so impossibly vomit inducing (and also a little homoerotic). Or perhaps it's because at the end of the day, Matthew delivers his most convincing performance since A Time To Kill. Whatever the reason, it totally works. I ate like 15 burgers this weekend and couldn't be happier.

*I pulled that from gawker.com. That blog was titled Matthew Mc..Creepiest Beef Spokesperson Ever.
Yep, I think that sums it up.