House in Revolt

My cute lil 50’s era single story 3 BR, 1 BA brick box house is revolting against me. Less than three years ago,I rescued the damn thing from complete abandonment. When I saw the house from the street, I felt nothing special. Set too far back fromt the road, the curbide appeal consisted of a monstrous dead thorn bush and a dirt box front porch. But my mom talked me into a viewing and once inside, I was beyond charmed. Bigger than it looked from the outside, the buttery wam color on the walls and the new, plush carpet won me over. Not to mention the price! Amazed that it was within my budget and in a great neighborhood, I signed the mortgage 2 weeks later.

Within months of claiming ownership, the coat closet-sized bathroom flooded itself numerous times leading to a now-spongy subfloor. The roof was lifted off in sheets during a couple of awesome spring storms along with some siding around the eaves. Then there’s the lamp post in the front yard. It has been taken down by the amazing power of Mother Nature. A GORGEOUS and Buffy-strong "Chlamydia" (clemvidia? clamata?)vine has taken hold of it. We can’t remove the post because it is still hooked up to the electricity of the house. The decrepit fuse box is no help as the decades-old, barely legible hand-penciled writing on it has no ‘lamp post’ assignment. So there it is, a veritable Leaning Tower of White Trash. This week, the A/C went out. Seeing as how the unit is the original piece from the late 1970’s (and it is a BEAR! It takes up the entire kitchen pantry!). When I had a friend in the heating/cooling biz look at our furnace a few years ago, he said that it AND the a/c were built to last 15-20 years. *Siiigggggh* There is probably another Ozone hole above our house from all the chemicals that thing has been spitting out over the years.

I am not sure what I have done to incur the wrath of the spirit of this house. No one was living there when I bought it. You would think the house would be happy to have a family again. Too many beings (Mom, dad, kid, dog, cat, fish) harmoniously (mostly) cohabitating in a once desolate building. We have torn down the thorn bush, replaced it with a thriving pear tree sapling. In the back yard there is a swing set, new blueberry and raspberry bushes. We plant a veggie garden every year. We feed the birds, chipmunks and squirrels.

Maybe that is the problem. Maybe the house is a cranky geriatric who just wants to be left alone. Well, I got a KILLER APR as a new homeowner and I am locked into a 30 year mortgage. I like the neighborhood. I have the space in the front AND backyard to add on. So we are staying put. You hear that, House? You can be cranky all you want. I will still love you and take care of you as best I can. And I appreciate all you can do for us by keeping us safe, sleeping, playing and living under what is left of your roof.